Dealing With Failure
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be firm (steadfast), immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord [always being superior, excelling, doing more than enough in the service of the Lord], knowing and being continually aware that your labor in the Lord is not futile [it is never wasted or to no purpose]. (1 Corinthians 15:58)
What should a person do when they feel as though they have failed to accomplish a task either on the job, in a relationship or at home with family? Many people feel guilty, depressed, or discouraged. Some want to quit. Let us look closely at this problem of dealing with failure.
Ray Cripps in Guideposts magazine points out a true story of the depression of the writer of the Phillips version of the New Testament, J.B. Phillips. It seems that in Phillips home in Swanage, England, he described a dark period in his life by writing,
“Satan was mounting his most devastating attack on me. He was building an image of J.B. Phillips that was not Jack Phillips at all. I was no longer an ordinary human being; I was in danger of becoming the super Christian! Everything I wrote or said had to better than the last. The image grew and grew until it was so unlike me that I could no longer live with it. And yet the thought of destroying it was terrifying too. It was on this dilemma that I hung.”
Phillips was close to committing suicide. He felt that unless he could not live up to these false expectations of himself, he should kill himself. Many people are believing a lie about what God wants them to be. Paul said, In Romans 12:3, “For by the grace given to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.”
Paul meant that each person should know his limitations as well as his strengths through God’s eyes not the worlds’. We need to understand that God accepts us not because of our works, but because of the grace of Christ through faith. Paul emphasizes that each of us have different gifts. It is unfair to compare ourselves with others. We must learn to appreciate our unique worth, calling, and processes that the potter is taking to shape the clay into His likeness.
Here are a few suggestions that will help you from getting discouraged after what you think is a failure:
- Thank God for being able to learn from failures, criticisms, & difficult experiences. Losing a battle does not mean losing the whole war.
- Remember not to base our self-image on the success of our job or what we do, as opposed to who we are, and more importantly Whose we are.
- Do not dread the next project, relationship etc, instead learn from every experience.
- Do not expect people to be congratulating you for doing what you should. You should be working as unto the Lord not men. (Col. 3: 23 Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily(from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men.
- Do not be people pleasers, be a God pleaser. God told Baruch in Jeremiah 45:5, If you seek me and not seek great things for yourself when devastation comes you will be spared.
- Be realistic about how much change can actually occur with one act of kindness or one attempt at doing good for another, but remember most people are changed over time. Our God is a God of process.
- Motivations for depression usually come from Satan who accuses us of incompetence, inadequacy, insufficiency, and will try to convince us of the need to quit. Satan has been a liar from the beginning. Do not believe a liar.
- Be encouraged by the never-ending forgiveness, provision, grace and instruction that we find in Christ.
- Don’t be discouraged if your word of encouragement didn’t come out just right. Never underestimate the Holy Spirit in using the power of the word of God to accomplish His will.
- Remember Jesus as one who did not get lots of credit for what He said and did. It was the doing of the will of God that brought satisfaction to Him. “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me.” (John 4:35)
- Success does not come by power, might, intelligence, but by the Spirit of God. “Then he said to me, This [addition of the bowl to the candlestick, causing it to yield a ceaseless supply of oil from the olive trees] is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit [of Whom the oil is a symbol], says the Lord of hosts.” (Zechariah 4:6)
Conclusion: Jesus calls us to be people who Live in the present-tense.
Hear is what the average person’s anxiety is focused upon:
40% — on are things that will never happen
30% — on things of the past that can’t be changed
12% — on criticism by others, mostly untrue
10% — on health, which gets worse with stress
Only 8% — of all that we worry about are real problems that will be faced, and rarely are they as bad as we thought that they would be.
Stop trying to grapple with the, “what ifs” and let God take care of it. The only way to make that long-term investment in God’s kingdom is, One day at a time.